from wherever (5)

October 15, 2004

Karl Ambonvoid

1302 Charles Street

Baltimore, MD 21229

K.,

Your silence is the more frightening; I know that it contains a universe.

I’m used to my own obscurity, its opaqueness keeps me standing. I didn’t believe that the years would change things so much between us, that the air would harden into a solid mass.

Blanchot sustains me: “It makes me, nothingness that I am, like unto nothingness. In a cowardly way it delivers me to joy.”

Perhaps we are both cowards, hiding behind words and structures, sure that our allusions will eventually be able to breathe on their own. Or, in the simplest of expectations, stand.

M.